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Who vs Whom - What's the Difference?

Stop confusing 'who' and 'whom.' Learn the exact grammar, pronunciation, and usage rules to distinguish these commonly confused English pronouns. Perfect for students, ESL learners, and professionals.

Quick Overview

Understanding the difference between Who and Whom is essential for clear, professional writing in American English. These two words are classic homophones-they sound almost identical in everyday speech, but they have completely different meanings and grammatical functions. Mixing them up is one of the most common spelling and grammar mistakes in the English language.

Feature Who Whom
Meaning Performs the action in a sentence (Subject) Receives the action in a sentence (Object)
Part of Speech Subject Pronoun (like I, he, she, they) Object Pronoun (like me, him, her, them)
Pronunciation /hu/ /hum/
Common Contexts Questions, subject relative clauses, everyday speech Formal writing, prepositions, object relative clauses
Example Who is coming to the party? To whom should I address the letter?
Memory Trick If you can answer with 'he' or 'she', use 'who' If you can answer with 'him' or 'them', use 'whom'

Understanding "Who"

A detailed breakdown of meaning, grammar, and usage.

Meaning

"Who" is a subjective pronoun. It is used to refer to people performing an action or being identified. It functions exactly like 'I', 'he', 'she', or 'they' in a sentence.

Pronunciation

In standard American English, "who" is pronounced /hu/. It consists of a single syllable with a breathy 'h' sound followed by a long 'oo' sound.

Word Class (Pronoun)

"Who" functions exclusively as a subject pronoun. It performs the action of the verb in both direct questions and relative clauses.

Grammar

As a subject, 'who' dictates the verb's agreement. It takes a singular or plural verb depending on the noun it stands for (e.g., 'Who is there?' vs 'Who are they?'). It can also be used with 'has' or 'have'.

Common Uses

Common uses include asking questions ('Who called?'), introducing relative clauses ('The man who called'), and forming idiomatic expressions ('Who knows?').

Literal Meaning

Literally, 'who' points to the identity of a subject. If you ask 'Who rang the bell?', you are asking for the literal name of the person whose finger pushed the button.

Figurative Meaning

Figuratively, 'who' is used in rhetorical phrases like 'Who cares?' to mean 'Nobody cares', or 'Who does he think he is?' to express indignation at someone's arrogance.

American English Usage

In American English, 'who' is entirely dominant in spoken and informal written contexts. It is universally accepted even when 'whom' would technically be grammatically correct.

Typical Sentence Patterns

1. Who + verb: Who knows? 2. Noun + who + verb: The guy who works here. 3. Who + be + noun: Who is the boss?

Common Collocations

Who is, who are, who knows, who cares, who says, who did, who has, who can, who will, who else.

Understanding "Whom"

A detailed breakdown of meaning, grammar, and usage.

Meaning

"Whom" is an objective pronoun. It is used to refer to people who are receiving an action or who are the object of a preposition. It functions exactly like 'me', 'him', 'her', or 'them'.

Pronunciation

In American English, "whom" is pronounced /hum/. It consists of a single syllable with a breathy 'h' sound, a long 'oo' sound, and a soft 'm' closing the lips.

Word Class (Pronoun)

"Whom" functions as an object pronoun. It receives the action of a verb or follows a preposition. It cannot be used as a subject.

Grammar

'Whom' appears in object position. It follows prepositions ('to whom') and acts as the object of a verb ('whom did you see'). It is strictly an object, meaning it never performs the action.

Common Uses

Common uses include formal letter salutations ('To whom it may concern'), prepositional phrases ('with whom'), and formal object relative clauses ('the man whom I met').

Literal Meaning

Literally, 'whom' points to the identity of a person on the receiving end of an action. 'Whom did you hit?' asks for the identity of the person whose face received the fist.

Figurative Meaning

Figuratively, 'whom' is rarely used in idioms. It is primarily a structural word. 'To whom it may concern' is a figurative way of saying 'To anyone reading this'.

American English Usage

In American English, 'whom' is considered highly formal and often sounds stiff in casual conversation. It is mostly reserved for academic, legal, and professional writing.

Typical Sentence Patterns

1. Preposition + whom + clause: To whom it may concern. 2. Whom + auxiliary + subject + verb: Whom did you call? 3. Noun + whom + subject + verb: The boy whom I saw.

Common Collocations

To whom, for whom, with whom, from whom, about whom, by whom, whom did, whom should, whom it may concern, whom I met.

Key Differences

Core Definition

Who is the subject performing the action. Whom is the object receiving the action.

Grammar Role

Who acts like 'he' or 'they'. Whom acts like 'him' or 'them'.

Pronunciation

Who is pronounced /hu/ (ends in a vowel sound). Whom is pronounced /hum/ (ends with an 'm' sound).

Formality

Who is standard in all contexts, both spoken and written. Whom is strictly formal and primarily used in writing or very formal speech.

Comparison Table

Feature Who Whom
Meaning Performs the action in a sentence (Subject) Receives the action in a sentence (Object)
Part of Speech Subject Pronoun (like I, he, she, they) Object Pronoun (like me, him, her, them)
Pronunciation /hu/ /hum/
Common Contexts Questions, subject relative clauses, everyday speech Formal writing, prepositions, object relative clauses
Example Who is coming to the party? To whom should I address the letter?
Memory Trick If you can answer with 'he' or 'she', use 'who' If you can answer with 'him' or 'them', use 'whom'

Grammar Rules

Grammar Rules & Mechanics

Understanding the distinction between subject and object pronouns is the key to never confusing 'who' and 'whom' again.

Subject vs. Object

If the pronoun is doing the action, use 'who'. If the pronoun is receiving the action, use 'whom'.

  • Correct: Who called me?
  • Incorrect: Whom called me?
  • The pronoun is performing the action (calling), so 'who' is correct. You can substitute 'he': 'He called me.'

  • Correct: Whom did you call?
  • Incorrect: Who did you call?
  • The pronoun is receiving the action (being called), so 'whom' is correct. You can substitute 'him': 'Did you call him?'

Following Prepositions

When a pronoun immediately follows a preposition (to, for, with, about), it must be 'whom'.

  • Correct: With whom are you traveling?
  • Incorrect: With who are you traveling?
  • 'With' is a preposition, so the object pronoun 'whom' is required.

Relative Clauses

In relative clauses, look at the verb inside the clause to determine if you need the subject or object form.

  • Correct: The doctor who treated me was excellent.
  • Incorrect: The doctor whom treated me was excellent.
  • The doctor is doing the treating (subject), so 'who' is correct.

  • Correct: The doctor whom I visited was excellent.
  • Incorrect: The doctor who I visited was excellent.
  • The doctor is being visited (object), so 'whom' is correct.

The Him/Them Substitute Test

The easiest trick is to answer the question with 'him' or 'them'. If it works, use 'whom' (both end in 'm').

  • Correct: Whom should I invite?
  • Incorrect: Who should I invite?
  • Answer: I should invite 'him'. Since 'him' works, use 'whom'.

When to Use "Who"

Specific scenarios where 'who' is the correct choice. It functions as a subject pronoun, meaning it performs the action of the verb.

Asking for the Subject

Use 'who' when asking a question where the answer would be the person doing the action.
Example: Who took the last slice of pizza?

Identifying People

Use 'who' to ask for someone's identity or name.
Example: Who is that woman standing by the door?

Subject Relative Clauses

Use 'who' to introduce a clause where the person is the subject performing the action.
Example: The mechanic who fixed my car is very experienced.

Inquiring about Ownership

Use 'who' with 'has' to ask who possesses something.
Example: Who has the keys to the storage room?

Asking for Opinions

Use 'who' to ask who thinks or believes a certain way.
Example: Who believes we can hit the quarterly target?

Expressing Surprise

Use 'who' in rhetorical questions or expressions of disbelief regarding someone's actions.
Example: Who would do such a terrible thing?

Polling a Group

Use 'who' to ask for a show of hands or group preference.
Example: Who wants to join the new committee?

Connecting Clauses

Use 'who' to link two sentences where the subject of the second is the person from the first.
Example: I spoke to the manager who approved the refund.

When to Use "Whom"

Specific scenarios where 'whom' is the correct choice. It functions as an object pronoun, meaning it receives the action or follows a preposition.

Following Prepositions

Use 'whom' directly after a preposition like 'to', 'for', 'with', or 'about'.
Example: With whom are you going to the conference?

Asking for the Object

Use 'whom' when asking a question where the answer would be the person receiving the action.
Example: Whom did the committee select for the award?

Formal Letter Salutations

Use 'whom' in the standard formal greeting when the recipient's name is unknown.
Example: To whom it may concern, I am writing to recommend Mr. Smith.

Object Relative Clauses

Use 'whom' to introduce a clause where the person is the object receiving the action.
Example: The candidate whom we interviewed yesterday was excellent.

Expressing Benefit or Purpose

Use 'whom' to indicate who is being helped or targeted by an action.
Example: For whom is this gift intended?

Formal Inquiries

Use 'whom' in formal, professional questions regarding personnel or clients.
Example: Whom should I contact regarding the billing discrepancy?

Discussing Individuals

Use 'whom' to specify a person being talked about or referenced.
Example: The author, about whom we were speaking, just won a prize.

Identifying Recipients

Use 'whom' to identify who received an object or communication.
Example: Whom did you send the email to?

Common Expressions

Idioms and standard phrases that rely on the specific meaning of each word.

Expressions with "Who"

1. Who is there

Meaning: Asking for the identity of a person present.
Example: Who is there at the door?

2. Who knows

Meaning: A rhetorical question or inquiry about knowledge.
Example: Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

3. Who cares

Meaning: Expressing indifference about a topic.
Example: Who cares if it rains? We are indoors.

4. Who said that

Meaning: Questioning the source of a statement.
Example: Who said that I was resigning?

5. Who wants

Meaning: Polling a group for desire or interest.
Example: Who wants to go to the movies tonight?

6. Who did it

Meaning: Inquiring who performed a specific action.
Example: Who did this amazing artwork?

7. Who called

Meaning: Asking for the identity of a caller.
Example: Who called while I was in the shower?

8. Who are you

Meaning: Directly questioning someone's identity.
Example: Who are you to tell me what to do?

9. Who has seen

Meaning: Asking if anyone has witnessed something.
Example: Who has seen my blue folder?

10. Who will win

Meaning: Speculating on the victor of a competition.
Example: Who will win the championship this year?

11. Who can help

Meaning: Seeking assistance from a group.
Example: Who can help me move this weekend?

12. Who likes

Meaning: Inquiring about preferences.
Example: Who likes pineapple on their pizza?

13. Who told you

Meaning: Questioning the source of someone's information.
Example: Who told you that I was moving?

14. Who thinks

Meaning: Asking for opinions or beliefs.
Example: Who thinks this is a good idea?

15. Who believes

Meaning: Inquiring about faith or conviction.
Example: Who believes in ghosts anymore?

16. Who works

Meaning: Asking about someone's employment or function.
Example: Who works in the IT department?

17. Who lives

Meaning: Inquiring about residency.
Example: Who lives in that haunted house?

18. Who plays

Meaning: Asking about participation in a game or sport.
Example: Who plays the guitar in your band?

19. Who drives

Meaning: Asking who operates a vehicle.
Example: Who drives the kids to school?

20. Who else

Meaning: Inquiring about additional people.
Example: Who else is coming to dinner?

Expressions with "Whom"

1. To whom

Meaning: Indicating the recipient of an action or item.
Example: To whom should I address this package?

2. For whom

Meaning: Indicating who benefits from an action.
Example: For whom are you buying those flowers?

3. With whom

Meaning: Indicating accompaniment.
Example: With whom are you going to the gala?

4. From whom

Meaning: Indicating the source or origin.
Example: From whom did you receive this letter?

5. About whom

Meaning: Indicating the subject of discussion.
Example: About whom were you speaking just now?

6. By whom

Meaning: Indicating the agent of a passive action.
Example: By whom was this document authorized?

7. In whom

Meaning: Indicating where trust or belief is placed.
Example: She is a leader in whom we have great confidence.

8. Of whom

Meaning: Indicating possession or composition.
Example: He has three brothers, one of whom is a doctor.

9. Whom did you see

Meaning: Formal inquiry about the object of a visit.
Example: Whom did you see at the clinic yesterday?

10. Whom should I call

Meaning: Formal inquiry about who to contact.
Example: Whom should I call to report the outage?

11. Whom did you meet

Meaning: Formal inquiry about an introduction.
Example: Whom did you meet at the networking event?

12. Whom do you trust

Meaning: Formal inquiry about reliability.
Example: Whom do you trust with your financial data?

13. Whom did they hire

Meaning: Formal inquiry about a new employee.
Example: Whom did they hire for the manager position?

14. Whom did you invite

Meaning: Formal inquiry about a guest list.
Example: Whom did you invite to the wedding?

15. Whom are you voting

Meaning: Formal inquiry about political support.
Example: Whom are you voting for in the election?

16. Whom it may concern

Meaning: Standard formal salutation for an unknown recipient.
Example: To whom it may concern, I am submitting my resume.

17. Whom did she marry

Meaning: Formal inquiry about a spouse.
Example: Whom did she marry after the divorce?

18. Whom did the teacher punish

Meaning: Formal inquiry about disciplinary action.
Example: Whom did the teacher punish for the prank?

19. Whom do you admire

Meaning: Formal inquiry about respect or role models.
Example: Whom do you admire the most in history?

20. Among whom

Meaning: Indicating distribution within a group.
Example: Among whom was the inheritance divided?

Collocations

Who is

Meaning: Asking for identity or state of being.
Example: Who is the current president of the club?

Who are

Meaning: Asking for the identity of a plural group.
Example: Who are those people in the lobby?

Who knows

Meaning: A phrase expressing uncertainty.
Example: Who knows if it will rain tomorrow.

Who cares

Meaning: A phrase expressing indifference.
Example: Who cares about the dress code?

Who says

Meaning: Questioning authority or a statement.
Example: Who says we can't eat dessert first?

Who did

Meaning: Asking who performed a past action.
Example: Who did the dishes last night?

Who has

Meaning: Asking about possession.
Example: Who has the remote control?

Who can

Meaning: Asking about ability.
Example: Who can solve this math problem?

Who will

Meaning: Asking about future intention.
Example: Who will take care of the dog while we are away?

Who else

Meaning: Asking about additional people.
Example: Who else wants to sign up for the trip?

To whom

Meaning: Indicating the recipient.
Example: To whom did you give the keys?

For whom

Meaning: Indicating benefit or purpose.
Example: For whom is this gift?

With whom

Meaning: Indicating accompaniment.
Example: With whom are you dining tonight?

From whom

Meaning: Indicating origin.
Example: From whom did you inherit that ring?

About whom

Meaning: Indicating the subject of conversation.
Example: About whom were they whispering?

By whom

Meaning: Indicating the agent of an action.
Example: By whom was this painting created?

In whom

Meaning: Indicating trust or belief.
Example: She is someone in whom I confide.

Of whom

Meaning: Indicating possession or part of a group.
Example: He has two daughters, both of whom are in college.

Whom did

Meaning: Formal inquiry about a past object.
Example: Whom did you call at midnight?

Whom should

Meaning: Formal inquiry about correct action.
Example: Whom should we notify about this?

Idioms

Who's who

Meaning: A guide or list of prominent people, or the distinction between people.
Example: The gala was a literal who's who of Hollywood celebrities.

Who knows

Meaning: An expression of uncertainty or lack of knowledge.
Example: Who knows what the stock market will do tomorrow.

Who's to say

Meaning: Questioning who has the authority to make a judgment.
Example: Who's to say that his way of doing things is wrong?

Who cares

Meaning: An expression indicating that something does not matter.
Example: You spilled a little water? Who cares, it's not a big deal.

Who done it

Meaning: A mystery story focused on finding a murderer.
Example: Agatha Christie is famous for her classic who done it novels.

Who am I to judge

Meaning: A phrase acknowledging one's own lack of perfection before criticizing others.
Example: You like to sleep in late? Who am I to judge, I do the same.

Who does he think he is

Meaning: An expression of indignation at someone's arrogance.
Example: He cut in front of the line; who does he think he is?

Who says

Meaning: A challenge to a rule or assumption.
Example: You can't eat ice cream for breakfast? Who says?

Guess who

Meaning: A playful prompt to identify a hidden or calling person.
Example: Guess who just got tickets to the concert!

Who can tell

Meaning: Rhetorical question meaning no one knows.
Example: Will it snow this Christmas? Who can tell.

To whom it may concern

Meaning: A formal salutation used when the recipient's name is unknown.
Example: To whom it may concern, I am writing to apply for the position.

For whom the bell tolls

Meaning: A phrase meaning we are all connected, and another's death affects us all.
Example: He felt a deep sadness at the stranger's funeral, remembering that no man is an island, and for whom the bell tolls.

Whom do you trust

Meaning: A direct, formal challenge questioning loyalty or reliability.
Example: In a world of spies, whom do you trust?

A man whom

Meaning: Formal phrasing to describe a male person's objective role.
Example: He is a man whom I deeply respect.

Those whom

Meaning: Formal phrasing referring to a specific group receiving an action.
Example: Those whom the gods love die young.

He whom

Meaning: Formal phrasing referring to a male receiving an action.
Example: He whom the king favors shall be rewarded.

She whom

Meaning: Formal phrasing referring to a female receiving an action.
Example: She whom we seek is not here.

The person whom

Meaning: Formal phrasing connecting a noun to an objective clause.
Example: The person whom you appointed has failed us.

Whom are you kidding

Meaning: A formal variation of 'who are you kidding', questioning someone's self-deception.
Example: Whom are you kidding? We both know you hate your job.

With whom I agree

Meaning: Formal phrasing indicating alignment with someone.
Example: My boss, with whom I agree on most things, made a poor choice today.

Example Sentences

Easy

  1. Who is at the door?
  2. Who wants to play a game?
  3. To whom should I give this book?
  4. Who ate all the cookies?
  5. With whom are you going to the park?
  6. Who is that boy?
  7. Whom did you see at the mall?
  8. Who knows the answer to question three?
  9. For whom did you buy those flowers?
  10. Who called you so early in the morning?
  11. Whom should I call about the leak?
  12. Who likes ice cream?
  13. From whom did you get that letter?
  14. Who are your best friends?
  15. Whom did the teacher pick for the team?
  16. Who has my red pen?
  17. About whom were you talking?
  18. Who made this mess in the kitchen?
  19. Whom did you invite to the party?
  20. Who wants to be a millionaire?

Intermediate

  1. The man who fixed my car did a fantastic job.
  2. The candidate whom we interviewed yesterday was very impressive.
  3. Who knows when the next train is arriving?
  4. She is the lawyer to whom I was referred.
  5. Who is responsible for ordering the office supplies?
  6. The author, about whom we were speaking, is signing books today.
  7. Who do you think will win the election?
  8. I have three brothers, one of whom is an engineer.
  9. The teacher who teaches calculus is retiring this year.
  10. Whom did you choose as your lab partner?
  11. Who else knows about this surprise party?
  12. The clients with whom we met have signed the contract.
  13. Who could have predicted such a sudden market crash?
  14. My boss, whom I respect deeply, offered me a promotion.
  15. Who are you going to ask for help with the move?
  16. The athlete whom the scouts came to see broke his leg.
  17. Who wants to join me for lunch at the new cafe?
  18. The senator, for whom many voted, failed to deliver on his promises.
  19. Who told you that I was looking for a new job?
  20. The musician whom I admire most is coming to town.

Advanced

  1. The researcher who discovered the anomaly declined to comment on the record.
  2. The committee members, whom the president appointed, possess diverse backgrounds in finance.
  3. Who bears the ultimate responsibility for this catastrophic failure?
  4. The diplomat, with whom the negotiations were conducted, secured a historic treaty.
  5. The novel features a protagonist who struggles with profound moral ambiguity.
  6. The investor, from whom the startup received its initial funding, demanded a seat on the board.
  7. Who could have foreseen the geopolitical ramifications of the treaty?
  8. The scientist whom the university recently tenured is publishing a groundbreaking paper.
  9. Who dictates the stylistic guidelines for this prestigious publication?
  10. The architect, by whom the skyline was forever altered, received a posthumous award.
  11. The philosophical treatise explores the nature of the self and who we truly are.
  12. The whistleblower, whom the agency attempted to silence, testified before Congress.
  13. Who possesses the authority to override a presidential veto in this context?
  14. The philanthropist, in whom the community placed its trust, was revealed as a fraud.
  15. The general who orchestrated the counter-offensive was subsequently promoted.
  16. The fugitive, whom the authorities had been tracking for months, was finally apprehended.
  17. Who truly benefits from these convoluted tax loopholes?
  18. The artist whom the critics once dismissed is now enjoying a major retrospective.
  19. The professor, to whom the department chair deferred, made the final decision.
  20. Who determines the ethical boundaries of artificial intelligence research?

Academic

  1. The scholar who authored the definitive text on quantum mechanics has retired.
  2. The participants, whom researchers selected randomly, were unaware of the hypothesis.
  3. Who can definitively prove the existence of the multiverse?
  4. The theoretical framework, upon which the study rests, has been widely debated.
  5. The historian who uncovered the lost manuscripts was awarded a prestigious fellowship.
  6. The peer reviewers, to whom the manuscript was submitted, requested major revisions.
  7. Who bears the burden of proof in this complex epistemological argument?
  8. The variables, among which correlation was measured, did not yield statistically significant results.
  9. The anthropologist who studied the indigenous tribe published her findings.
  10. The control group, from whom the baseline data was extracted, exhibited no anomalies.
  11. Who pioneered the methodology currently utilized in sociological research?
  12. The university president, whom the faculty senate overwhelmingly supported, enacted the policy.
  13. The linguist who mapped the syntax of the endangered language passed away.
  14. The ethical guidelines, by which the researchers were bound, prohibited deception.
  15. Who determines the curriculum standards for advanced placement courses?
  16. The biologist whom the Nobel committee honored delivered the keynote address.
  17. The philosopher who challenged the Cartesian dualism remains highly influential.
  18. The subjects, about whom the demographic data was collected, consented to the study.
  19. Who has access to the restricted archives containing the primary sources?
  20. The archaeologist whom the university dispatched discovered a new ruin.

Business

  1. Who is handling the Harrison account while Sarah is on leave?
  2. The vendor whom we contracted failed to meet the delivery deadline.
  3. Who approved the budget for the marketing campaign?
  4. The client, to whom we presented the proposal, requested a revised timeline.
  5. Who will be taking over as the interim CEO?
  6. The auditor whom the board hired discovered significant discrepancies.
  7. Who has the authority to sign off on this merger?
  8. The investors, from whom we are seeking capital, are very risk-averse.
  9. Who do we need to cc on this email thread?
  10. The manager whom the employees complained about has been transferred.
  11. Who is leading the training seminar for the new software?
  12. The partner, with whom we collaborate on logistics, has upgraded their system.
  13. Who generated the Q3 sales report?
  14. The candidate whom HR recommended accepted our job offer.
  15. Who should I contact regarding the invoice discrepancy?
  16. The consultant, about whom the CEO spoke highly, will start next week.
  17. Who authorized the press release without legal review?
  18. The supplier whom we fired is threatening a lawsuit.
  19. Who is responsible for maintaining the company website?
  20. The whistleblower, whom the company tried to silence, went to the press.

Real-Life Conversations

Office

Colleague 1: Who is going to lead the meeting today?

Colleague 2: I think it's the manager. By the way, whom should I give these files to?

Colleague 1: Give them to the intern. Who knows where he is?

Colleague 2: I saw him with the clients to whom we pitched yesterday.

Restaurant

Host: Welcome! Who is in your party tonight?

Customer: There are four of us. With whom are we dining tonight? Is the chef new?

Host: Yes, the chef whom we hired last week is fantastic.

Customer: Great! Who recommended this place to you?

School

Student: Who knows the answer to problem number four?

Teacher: I do, but I want you to figure it out. Whom did you ask for help?

Student: I asked the tutor whom I usually meet on Tuesdays.

Teacher: Good. Who else is in your study group?

Phone Call

Caller: Hello, who is speaking?

Receiver: This is John. To whom am I speaking?

Caller: I am the person whom you called about the car.

Formal vs Informal Usage

Cover Letters

In cover letters, use 'whom' for the salutation, but 'who' when referring to the hiring manager performing an action.

Example: To whom it may concern, I am writing to the person who handles hiring.

Legal Documents

In legal writing, 'whom' identifies the recipient of an action or penalty, while 'who' identifies the actor.

Example: The person who committed the crime shall be penalized against whom the law applies.

Business English

Customer Service

In customer service, agents use 'who' for caller identity, and 'whom' for directing inquiries.

Example: Who is calling, and to whom should I direct your complaint?

Corporate Emails

In corporate emails, 'who' is used for the subject of a sentence, while 'whom' is used after prepositions.

Example: Who sent the email, and to whom was it forwarded?

Academic Writing

Research Papers

In academic writing, 'whom' is strictly adhered to in object positions, while 'who' is used for researchers performing studies.

Example: The scientist who conducted the study interviewed the subjects whom she selected.

Citations

In academic citations, 'whom' is used to refer to the author being cited or referenced.

Example: The author, whom Smith cited extensively, argued against the theory.

Common Mistakes

1

Whom is calling?

Correct: Who is calling?

Why: The pronoun is performing the action (calling), so the subject 'who' is required.

2

Who did you meet?

Correct: Whom did you meet?

Why: The pronoun is receiving the action (being met), so the object 'whom' is correct, though 'who' is common informally.

3

With who are you going?

Correct: With whom are you going?

Why: The pronoun follows the preposition 'with', so it must be the object 'whom'.

4

Whom knows the answer?

Correct: Who knows the answer?

Why: The pronoun is performing the action (knowing), so the subject 'who' is required.

5

The man whom called me is here.

Correct: The man who called me is here.

Why: The man is doing the calling (subject of the relative clause), so 'who' is correct.

6

To who should I address this?

Correct: To whom should I address this?

Why: Following the preposition 'to', the object pronoun 'whom' is required.

7

Who did they hire?

Correct: Whom did they hire?

Why: The pronoun is receiving the action (being hired), so 'whom' is correct in formal grammar.

8

Whom wants to go first?

Correct: Who wants to go first?

Why: The pronoun is performing the action (wanting), so the subject 'who' is required.

9

For who are you buying that?

Correct: For whom are you buying that?

Why: Following the preposition 'for', the object pronoun 'whom' is required.

10

The doctor who I saw was late.

Correct: The doctor whom I saw was late.

Why: The doctor is receiving the action (being seen), so 'whom' is correct in formal grammar.

Learning Tips

Memory Trick: The 'M' Trick

Both 'whom' and 'him' end with the letter 'm'. If you can answer the question with 'him', use 'whom'.

Memory Trick: Who = He

If you can substitute the word with 'he' or 'she', use 'who'. If you use 'him' or 'her', use 'whom'.

The Preposition Rule

If the word immediately follows a preposition (to, for, with, about), it is almost always 'whom'.

The Action Check

If the pronoun is doing the action, use 'who'. If it is having the action done to it, use 'whom'.

Formality Context

In casual speech, 'who' is acceptable for both. In formal writing or tests, strictly apply the 'he/him' rule to choose between who and whom.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Quick answers to common questions.

What is the main difference between who and whom?

'Who' is a subject pronoun performing the action. 'Whom' is an object pronoun receiving the action or following a preposition.

Is 'whom' becoming obsolete?

In spoken and casual American English, 'whom' is rarely used, and 'who' has taken over. However, it remains standard and expected in formal, academic, and legal writing.

What is the easiest way to know which one to use?

Answer the question. If the answer is 'he' or 'they', use 'who'. If the answer is 'him' or 'them', use 'whom'. Both 'whom' and 'him' end in 'm'.

Is 'To whom it may concern' still correct?

Yes, 'To whom it may concern' is the standard formal salutation for a letter when you do not know the recipient's name.

Can I just use 'who' all the time?

In casual speech, yes. In formal writing, tests, or professional correspondence, using 'who' in place of 'whom' will be considered a grammatical error.

Why do people struggle with who and whom?

English has mostly lost its case system for nouns. We don't say 'I gave it to he', but because 'who/whom' sounds similar and the distinction is ignored in casual speech, people forget the rule.

Does 'whom' come before a verb?

No. 'Whom' is an object, so it does not perform the verb. If the pronoun is doing the verb, use 'who'.

Is it 'who' or 'whom' after a preposition?

It is always 'whom' after a preposition. For example: 'with whom', 'for whom', 'to whom'.

Are 'who' and 'whom' pronounced the same?

No. 'Who' is pronounced /hu/ (ending in an 'oo' sound), while 'whom' is pronounced /hum/ (ending with an 'm' sound).

What is a relative clause?

A relative clause gives more information about a noun. You use 'who' if the noun is the subject of the clause, and 'whom' if the noun is the object (e.g., 'The man who called' vs 'The man whom I called').